benparsons.com

my pal phil sent me a link to this video featuring a comedian named Louis CK on Late Night. it’s funny stuff-check it.

it was great timing for me, as mel and i just got iPhones. yeah, both of our phones crapped out on us, and we’ve gone even more apple-centric than we already were. this was all started when i got a call from Mel while i was working the other day. i only heard a few words, some of which were profanity, and then “beeeep beep beeeep beeep” interspersed with more half-words. it took about 20 minutes of this half-beeping conversation for me to ascertain that her phone was jacked up, and repeatedly pressing its own #6 button. i thought this was probably the funnies thing that had happened to us in at least two months. i also think it sort of makes sense. just think how hard the life of a cellphone is. they constantly have to listen to your stupid conversations, only to be repeatedly crammed back in your sweaty pocket or nasty gum-scented purse. i think mel’s phone took the only way out- cellphone suicide. just push one of your own buttons until your owner gives in and buys a new phone.

also- zack and i had a great time doing our first podcast together! woo-hoo! help a bro out, and give a listen.

“will podcast for food”

i’ve been thinking the next step in my quest for radio domination is to start doing some interviews. i’m thinking of getting a digital voice recorder and just getting some decent interviews of local people who are doing cool stuff, and posting them on my website (when that becomes possible).

i’ve sent an email to a dj that i’m interested in interviewing, and hopefully he will be ok with it. i promised him i’d bring a corn dog, and who could possibly say no to that??? answer: no one.

what i want to know from you, my dudes, is two things:

1. would you download an interview that i’ve recorded, provided it was somebody you were interested in and that i promise to be witty?
2. who would you want me to interview?
3. for the guys in the pixel coast only, when can i do this?

hello party people.

as you may well know i spend a good chunk of my day listening to KNDD, 107.7 the end. they have the adam carolla show in the morning, and the Church of Lazlo in the afternoon. well, they did have the Church of Lazlo in the afternoon, but apparently the Church moved back to wherever they came from (Kansas City??) and now Harms is filling in until they get an afternoon replacement.

coincidence? i think not.

that’s the plan. i found out about this organization called centerpoint that is located on the Telaris campus (where mel’s school was). i hear that they have a pretty good rep and their prices are certainly lower than some i’ve seen on web searches.

i plan to check the joint out with an orientation here in a week or so, then attend a workshop and maybe some one-on-one basketball after that. if you have not been one of the privileged few who have seen me “play” basketball, i’ll let you in on a secret. a 90 year old in a rascal could beat me in one-on-one, so i’m not really looking forward to that part…

before going in for the intense bruhaha i would like to give you, the public, one more chance to tell me what you think i should be.

i will give some possibilities for starters, just to get you going on your own…

-snarky op-ed reporter (see ken schram)
-a dinosaur
-one of angelina jolie/brad pitt’s babies
-brickmaker
-beck
-hairdresser
-the letter E
-midwife (hey- i’m probably half way there already!)
- trader joe’s crew member (it’s like a big ship! sooo cool!)
-matthew broderick

feel free to vote for one of the above (i feel these are the most likely options) or go out on a limb and write in your own idea(s).

yeah, good old myspace.

i never would have gotten myself one of those flashy myspace pages if a good friend of mine named Bubba had not suggested it, and helped me do it. thanks bubba.

i’m posting this because my myspace (is that redundant?) has accumulated over 20,000 views since i started it. that’s a lot. especially for free. thanks myspace.

click here for myspace.com/benparsons

you know those telethons that PBS does, or KEXP?

for those who don’t: what happens is, a “public” type of service which doesn’t sell advertising or have other means of revenue generation will ask its users to donate to it, in order to keep providing its service. it’s like “if you think this rules, then you should send money”.

no, i’m not asking you to send me money- i have a better idea. my request of you is that you take a moment to put “ben parsons” (without the quotes) in as a google search term, and when the results come up, click the one that links to this blog- it should read “ben parsons is contemplating” let’s just do that right now…

so, on google you will see that the top listing for “ben parsons” is my myspace page, which is pretty great. unfortunately, there is an impostor “ben parsons” listed at #2 for some “blog” or something. obviously this person is trying to discredit me by pretending to be me. lets bring this fraud down by clicking on the #3 entry, the REAL ben parsons (ben parsons is contemplating).

other searches that would probably be beneficial for me are “ben parsons rules”, “ben parsons kicks ass”, or maybe “ben parsons is a complete moron”. adding “music”, “art”, or whatever else you may think applies to my name on a search, and then clicking on one of my pages will move me up on the google-meter, the meter by which the universe is measured.

here on wordpress you can see how many times people have used searches to find your blog, and what terms they have used, so i expect to see 20,000 or so “ben parsons” searches in my blog stats in the next 24 hours or so, ok? that would be great. thanks.

-side note- i don’t know a whole lot about how these search engines work, but i’ve been told that the more links you have out there in cyber-land the more recognizable your site is to search engines. i think this would make myspace a really good place to get your name out there, if you are interested in doing so, because each time you “add a friend” that creates another link to whatever thing you are promoting. it’s free, and maybe more efficient than other methods of “flagging” for search engines?

so- do your part to make me more awesome by googling me and then clicking on me. don’t click on those other losers. they are only jealous of my success.

also, check out this video on “how to beat ‘Pitfall’ on the Atari 2600″

this guy contacted me on myspace to ask if he could use one of my tracks (”the alley”) as background music for a podcast that he produces. he makes these podcasts out of bunches of random audio. the one that my song is featured in is a bunch of prank phone calls done with a vocoder (i assume) to make the caller sound like a computer, a very small pepperoni man, a chipmunk, etc. these characters make various calls to: church secretaries, Hooters, random people out of the phone book, and a store called computer warehouse.

anyway, it’s pretty funny, and REALLY long. here is a link. CLICK HERE

thanks for listening.